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   Essays by Liah

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Sometimes in life we may feel that all that has illuminated our lives goes dim, and that we are alone in the dark. This can happen in difficult circumstances, like the death of a loved one, loss of a job, or health issues; or it can come from internal issues, like feelings of failure, shame, or grief. This cloud of depression and confusion may leave us feeling cut-off from our connection to our inner light and to God. The Spiritual Revolution is remembering that our inner light is always shining, and that God dwells there in our hearts. God and our inner light do not abandon us, we abandon them. We can find our way back to God and to the light within if we are willing be honest with ourselves and to ask for help.

Recently, life dealt me a tough blow and I found myself reeling off center and far from my heart, disconnected from my inner light and God. I felt incredibly small, vulnerable, and confused. I cried daily for three weeks, mixed with angry outbursts at the injustices of life and feeling upset with God and my situation. My regular centering practices of meditation and prayer didn’t bring any peace to my mind. I was stuck in the dark, feeling alone in a reservoir of old sadness. I continued to handle the responsibilities of life but I felt like my inner sparkle had gone out.

By the grace of God I met someone else who had been in a similar situation to mine. She was willing to hold my hand and guide me through this unknown territory of doubt and fear. She beheld the goodness and light in me even when I had forgotten. She described how she had managed a similar situation in the past, and how wonderful everything turned out in the end. She empathized with my lack of faith and allowed me to speak about the deepest, darkest parts of myself without judgment. Her unconditional love was a radiant beam piercing the dark night of my soul, illuminating the path home to my inner light and to God. Love is a powerful healing balm.

I began to realize that rather than blame an external God for my troubles, I needed to look at what my part was in creating them. Then I had to forgive myself for forgetting that I am a Divine  child of the universe and worthy of love. My heart-light was rekindled by my friend seeing my brightness even when I forgot. A very deep spiritual revolution was occurring in my being and I resolved to live life differently. I had been confronted with my own demons, rather than some external evil force. My negativity had cut me off from my heart light and God, but thanks to Grace I had found a way back.

At times life sucks, it’s an unavoidable part of being human. But it’s never without meaning, it’s never hopeless, and we never have to bear our burdens alone. If you should find yourself questioning the existence of God or your inner light, call out with your whole heart! Reach out with humility to another who inspires you, and learn from them how they live a life guided by their inner light and God. Remember, God never abandons us, it is us who forget and abandon God. The Spiritual revolution is banishing the darkness in our own hearts with love.

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